Final Reflections

As a filmmaker, I am so glad I took 302 experimental over narrative and documentary. I love having free range over whatever I make. The biggest worry I have is not pushing myself to create when no one is giving me at least some parameters to work in. I still worry about how my films are perceived as far as "professional" looks, but I'm still gonna push myself to try and let that go - just keep making whatever it is that I want to make. Doing an installation was incredibly eye opening. That is never something I would have ever thought to have done with film or any other art form, but I had a fully fleshed out idea before we had finished reading the assignment criteria in class. Now knowing what goes into one, I feel like I could potentially make the one I was envisioning. It feels much more tangible. For me it's just a matter of funding, but I am NOT gonna worry about it or let that stop me. The class collaboration project showed me the potential fun and creative value of collaborating for abstract pieces. Between that and the installations the idea to focus on sound was further instilled in me. And I apparently don't really mind self-portraits cause I'm generally not shy about stuff happening in my life. I think a challenge for myself would be to find something that I really don't tell others about, something that to see on film would be shocking to the people that really know me. I'm not sure why but I just thought about going through my old dream journal and making shorts out of my old dreams. The creativity is flowing! And I really do think I have this class to thank for it. I was opened up to so many possibilities of what film can be that I would never have thought of otherwise. 

Marlon Riggs and Martha Colburn Presentations

I am 100% interested in exploring both of these filmmakers' careers. Marlon Riggs' poetry and imagery has such an impact. Especially seeing him in his hospital bed in Black Is...Black Ain't. I certainly can't related to the struggle of people of color, but I definitely know struggles of the LGBTQ community. I appreciate that intersection that he represents and draws attention to in his work. That's something that people still struggle with recognizing still today. Many people separate those two groups when fighting for social justice, but the struggles of each community on their own affect the other. The heart of Riggs' work is so important and inspiring 20 years later.
Martha Colburn threw me for a loop in the best way. I love seeing work that gets made on celluloid, particularly in that collage style. That's the type of work that I would love to try for myself. It just seems so playful and tactile and I love it. And as Marika said in the presentation, it's nice to learn about an artist that is still around and making art. I would absolutely love to see one of her performance pieces or installations in person some day. And as long as I live I will never forget Pug Adventures. 

Self Portrait Reflection

I really didn't have a problem with the idea of making a self portrait. After 495 over the summer I am comfortable putting myself on screen to tell my story. I think what I was most insecure about was the editing and style of the piece. I'm always worried about the quality of the camera I use and my lighting. I feel like it doesn't look "professional," whatever that means. It feels basic in that regard. As far as the editing goes, simple and straightforward edits are what I'm used to from making family videos as a kid. I did use some transitional effects, but I never feel like it's enough. It was definitely hard to believe any positive feedback was genuine. It's only when I show it to people that really get insecure about those things. When I was making it it felt like my creative decisions were the "right" thing to do with the resources I had. I think growing up making films only for family and friends has made it hard for me to make things, or at least feel confident it showing things, for a broader audience. The fun of home movies was the cheap quality of it. It didn't look for feel "professional," and that's what made it fun and entertaining. When I think about showing such work to filmmaker peers it just feels embarrassing. Not being so self-conscious is definitely something for me to work on when sharing my work with others.