Self Portrait Concept Revision

While I still have yet to solidify a formal concept, I have decided to utilize personal concert videos and photos from Facebook to provide visuals and some audio. I also plan to record myself singing a Girl Scout song and maybe a hymn or pagan chant. I still want to use Chinese writing which I may use as subtitles. I do not have a super clear idea of how this will all come together, but I am trying to let the process guide me and see what happens. I want to let myself explore and get weird with it. I don't want to put too many expectations on myself lest I provide a false image of myself.

Instillation Ideas and Contributions

Our group's idea is essentially a big ole feminist protest. So far the plan is to project video from news debates and the like of men using misogynistic speech and/or promoting misogynistic political views. We want to project it onto the van at Jengo's and line the projection's border with pads. All of use will start with duct tape over our mouths. Myself and someone else will be using buckets/pots as drums. We will take the tape off and start drumming and singing pagan chants. I am in charge of deciding those and providing lyric sheets so that others may join in. We also plan on having extra buckets and pans for others to drum along as well. After we start singing, the rest will remove their tape and begin protesting while holding signs with feminist slogans and statements. There will be more signs for others to hold and join in the protest. We are checking with Jengo's if we can have a fire pit to burn bras. If not, we plan on writing statistics and personal anecdotes about the female experience on the bras and hanging them out on the clothes line. All of us will provide pads, used bras, extra pots and pans, and make the protest signs together.

OK Go Presentation Response

I was already familiar with some of OK Go's work, so most of the videos shown I had already seen. Some of the older ones I had not which was really exciting. I am always so impressed with both the creativity and the engineering that goes into their videos. Every time they release a new video I am blown away. What I didn't realize, or I guess not notice in my own time, is that so many of their videos have corporate sponsors. I can certainly understand why they might seek out financial assistance given the scope of these videos, but it was really disconcerting to see an add for Morton's salt of all things at the end of a music video. That aside, the fact that these kinds of experimental videos are so mainstream is truly fascinating. It's not some kind of underground or elitist work that is only available to certain niche crowds. Anyone can open YouTube and watch these crazy visual works. And the fact that the videos have become arguably more creative that a band's music is so bizarre. I continue to look out for more of their work, though. They always impress me.

Self-Portrait Brainstorming

I feel like I have so many ideas and no clue how to synthesis them together to make a coherent piece. I have several ideas as far as subject matter. I've been thinking about: Girl Scouts, studying Chinese and Spanish, traveling, paganism/witchcraft/Unitarian Universalism (so religion), being engaged, any of my fandoms (of which there are many), my various college experiences (as in all of the school's I've attended post-high school), and relationships with friends and family.

As far as film form goes, I would like to have images that overlap and/or move over one another. I've thought about filming myself painting various symbols and images then speeding it up, and perhaps reversing it. For either of those things I could include Chinese characters as overlapping text or something that I paint. I've thought about incorporating family pictures, and recording friends and family either just saying my name or talking about me. I thought about singing a song from Girl Scout camp and/or a chant that might be used in a pagan ritual.

Another overarching thematic element I am considering is the idea of choice. It's something that keeps coming up in my therapy sessions so it's something I think about a lot. If this gets incorporated I could also bring up the struggles of health and taking care of myself physically as someone with depression and anxiety, as well as a total sugar addict.

I am so unsure of what material I should focus on and how best to express it.

1D Reflection

First of all, 1D makes it sound like we're talking about One Direction.

Second, this project made me realize how sound can shape the image. I think as filmmakers and viewers we tend to think of the image as shaping or determining the sound that will accompany it, but you can just as easily do it in the opposite way. (In some ways this could apply to music videos, though many often seem like the visuals are their own thing completely separate from the music. Perhaps that's a challenge for the music video project?) Sound doesn't just shape how we see an image, an image can shape how we hear sound. Take a scream for example. If we see the person screaming drowning, then it's a scream of distress. If we see the same scream coming from someone at a concert, it becomes a scream of fun and engagement. Image and sound can relate to each other in various ways if we let them. 

Cucalorus Reflection

I'm proud of myself for meeting all of my goals. I asked questions at most, if not all, of the screenings I attended. I didn't, however, get to go to the lounge to see if our projects were showing. I thoroughly enjoyed every screening I went to. It didn't occur to me until afterward that everything besides the shorts block was a documentary. Each doc's subject was fascinating to me. While I Breath, I Hope followed South Carolina politician Bakari Sellers during his campaign for lieutenant governor of the state. While he ended up losing the election, he has continued to have a somewhat prominent voice in politics, both on the state and national level. I never understood exactly how much goes into a campaign and it was baffling to see how exhausted Bakari and his team would be. It gave me a greater appreciation for the politicians who genuinely care about their constituents and the work they put in to be able to do that. White Ravens was Georg Kozulinski's film and it was beautifully shot. The nature shots were incredibly serene, and I so appreciate films that seek to document cultures that have been marginalized and/or pushed towards extinction. I have always been fascinated by other cultures and how they are preserved (or not). It was very impactful. The documentary I liked the most was TransMilitary, which follows a few transgender people in the military and how they have been fighting for their right to serve. As someone existing under the trans umbrella and who is engaged to a transgender woman, the message of this film hit home hard. One of the characters, Laila Ireland, was there for the film's Q&A and it was such a treat to get to talk to her and thank her in person. She's no longer in the military but continues to travel and educate people about what it means to be transgender and why our rights are important. The Fiddlehead shorts block was all over the place in such a good way. Seeing Shoot the Duck after hearing about the shoot over the summer was very exciting. Escape the Ninja was a masterpiece, White Chocolate was well made and had a good message, and I really enjoyed The Ape Man cartoon. As a filmmaker I was reminded that there is always an audience for your work, no matter how small or insignificant it may feel to me. I also understand that if I were to have a film play at a festival, I would want people to ask questions. It always felt weird if we sat in awkward silence during the Q&A's. To have people engage with you and your work in person is really valuable and not something every filmmaker gets a chance to do.

Cucalorus Prep

This year at Cucalorus I am seeing the films While I Breath, I Hope, White Ravens: A Legacy of Resistance, Transmilitary, and the Fiddlefaddle short block. I'm also planning to go to the open lounge for a while to mingle and see our classes projects. I am excited to see work by some UNCW professors (White Raven and Shoot the Duck) because we have the opportunity to pick their brains outside of the festival and have more personal discussion about their work. The two features by other filmmakers give me a chance to meet new faces and discuss making films about topics that I am passionate about. I chose the Fiddlefaddle shorts for my shorts block to see Shoot the Duck and other films targeted to/made by kids. I think there's a lot to be learned from children. They're much less concerned about making the "perfect" film and just create. It's something that I struggle with. As far as films made about/for kids, they still have valuable filmmaking lessons to be learned. So many people think that because a story is about/for children that it can't be interesting, but that is far from the truth. I'm challenging myself to ask the filmmakers questions about at least one of the screenings, meet and talk to at least one person outside of the UNCW film department (who isn't the filmmaker of a film I saw), and engage in professional and critical conversation with my fellow students and other attendees. 

Shooting on Film

I haven't used a film camera to take pictures in about 10 years, so it was fun to get to try it again. I took a photography class in high school where I got to shoot and develop the film, and print the picture myself. I'm glad we didn't have to develop this time around cause I don't remember how to do that. But rolling the film out into the camera was such a satisfying feeling. It was also an exercise in shot preparation. With digital cameras you can see the picture immediately and easily make adjustments to take a photo closer to what you want. You can even make adjustments with a computer that creates an image that would/did not exist when the photo was taken. With film you have one shot, more or less, to get the desired image. With a limited amount of film you have to carefully construct every shot before you take it. You have to meticulously calculate every aspect of what will appear in the image since you won't get a chance to simply recreate the image or alter it in the same way as a digital photo. I wish I would have thought things through a tad more when shooting, but I'm still pretty happy with how my photos turned out.